potty training a 14 year old

zoe has been potty training herself for the past 4 days, and she is doing great. except she does not want to poop on the potty(ozzie did the exact same thing) so we do a switcheroo real quick, get the pull-ups on and then she poops and then we put undies back on. but i keep asking before - do you want to try to poop on the potty? and she always says no. bear in mind it's only been 4 days.

just now, she says she has to poop. i ask - do you want to poop on the potty? and she SCREAMS at me - "NO!!! ONLY IN A DIAPER! YOU ALWAYS DON'T LISTEN TO ME! YOU ALWAYS DON'T LISTEN TO ME! YOU ALWAYS DON'T LISTEN TO ME!"

warning: profanity

so the kids are watching this show now called Peep, which is the greatest kids show on TV.

and the episode from yesterday is titled "Under Duck" and zoe was playing around with the words
shunder luck
funder muck
thunder fuck
THUNDER FUCK
THUNDER FUCK!
THUNDER FUCK!!!
THUNDER FUCK!!!
THUNDER FUCK!!!

of course, all our windows are wide open. the neighbors, they love us.

zoe belts out another one:

so it is 40 minutes past test/dinner/shot time for eli, who is sitting very quietly on the floor in the livingroom.
i say to him, "eli! don't be so quiet! we almost forgot about you, silly kitty cat."

and zoe shouts, "TITTY SHITTY SHAT!"

i swear to god i do not use profanities in front of the children.

future family members

zoe: "i am not going to have a lot of pets. just hamsters, guinea pigs, chinchillas and rabbits. i'd better write this down tomorrow. on real paper."

zoe wants to change her name to...

Zoe Caterpillar Etkin