to be loved by ozzie...

this is what it is like:

"i think, that when emily looks into my eyes, she sees hearts. because she loves me. and i love her too."

...........

mom: zoe, you are something else!
zoe: you mean i'm not a zoe anymore?

Special Z

the last 2 pictures she has drawn at school:

"a crazy person"

and

"a rotted pancake".


that one, she worries me sometimes...

ozzie: i don't eat turkey on thanksgiving 'cause i'm a vegetarian. is zoe a vegetarian?
zoe: no, i'm a cowgirl.

hmm....

zoe: mommy, do you like cleaning?
me: yes, actually i do.
zoe: me too!
me: you know what i like best about cleaning? when i can clean with you!
zoe: you know what i like best about cleaning? when i can clean with my alien friend! she's yellow.

when words escape me...

mom: do you know what a beet is?
ozzie: no.
mom: well, it's a vegetable, and very, very dark red.
ozzie: does it taste like poi?

overheard from the livingroom:

"zoe, watch out! the volcano's erupting!"

"don't worry! my house is lava-proof!"

"but zoe! is it pyroclastic flow-proof?!?!"



(i'd better check our homeowner's policy on that one...)

oh, so true...

ozzie's declaration for the day:

"lava might be slow, but it sure is destructive."



(we've all thought that once or twice, no? show of hands?)

who's on first?

(heard in stage whispers after something gets knocked behind the sofa):

ozzie: "what was that?"
zoe: "it was an accident."
ozzie: "yeah, but what was it?"
zoe: "it was an accident!"
ozzie: "i know! but what WAS it?!?!"
zoe: "it was an ACCIDENT!!!"
ozzie: "i KNOW! but what WAS IT?!?!"
zoe: "AN ACC-I-DENT-TUH!!!"

do you know what a "pornet" is?

zoe: "...a pornet... doesn't have a stinger, but it does have a little pig nose and very small wings and it flies around. and it eats pig food."

(it sounds like it is related to the Airbug.)

more unbearably cute zoe-ness

"do you know what my grey kitty cat is named?"

"what?"

"gracie. do you know what my other grey kitty cat is named?"

"what?"

"lulou. and that's a little secret just for you."

ozzie reveals a family secret...

(whispers to a friend at the playground)

"do you want to know a secret? my dad is really a superhero. his name is BurpMan."

zoe gets a new Barbie...

(and her name is Glee)

so daddy asks her, "oooh... what's your new barbie's name?"

and zoe answers, "uh... glitt, uh... glimm... oh, whoever."

potty training a 14 year old

zoe has been potty training herself for the past 4 days, and she is doing great. except she does not want to poop on the potty(ozzie did the exact same thing) so we do a switcheroo real quick, get the pull-ups on and then she poops and then we put undies back on. but i keep asking before - do you want to try to poop on the potty? and she always says no. bear in mind it's only been 4 days.

just now, she says she has to poop. i ask - do you want to poop on the potty? and she SCREAMS at me - "NO!!! ONLY IN A DIAPER! YOU ALWAYS DON'T LISTEN TO ME! YOU ALWAYS DON'T LISTEN TO ME! YOU ALWAYS DON'T LISTEN TO ME!"

warning: profanity

so the kids are watching this show now called Peep, which is the greatest kids show on TV.

and the episode from yesterday is titled "Under Duck" and zoe was playing around with the words
shunder luck
funder muck
thunder fuck
THUNDER FUCK
THUNDER FUCK!
THUNDER FUCK!!!
THUNDER FUCK!!!
THUNDER FUCK!!!

of course, all our windows are wide open. the neighbors, they love us.

zoe belts out another one:

so it is 40 minutes past test/dinner/shot time for eli, who is sitting very quietly on the floor in the livingroom.
i say to him, "eli! don't be so quiet! we almost forgot about you, silly kitty cat."

and zoe shouts, "TITTY SHITTY SHAT!"

i swear to god i do not use profanities in front of the children.

future family members

zoe: "i am not going to have a lot of pets. just hamsters, guinea pigs, chinchillas and rabbits. i'd better write this down tomorrow. on real paper."

zoe wants to change her name to...

Zoe Caterpillar Etkin

overheard from the livingroom:

"i never get hit by flying cows. i am a very careful chipmonk."

zoe is a real New Yorker

me: zoe, what do you like to see at the zoo?
zoe: butterflies.
me: do you like to see the lions or tigers?
zoe: no.
me: do you like to see the prairie dogs?
zoe: mmm hmm.
me: peacocks?
zoe: mmm hmm.
me: ducks?
zoe: mmm hmm.
me: alligators?
zoe: eh, not so much.

ozzie's homework

make a list of things you see that tell you it is spring:

flawrs
leevus
pollen

zoe's future plans...

"do you know what i want to be when i grow up? a unicorn."

pure oxygen...

ozzie: i love you so much i feel like i am going to explode!

ozzie's sweet whisperings...

"good night, sleep tight, don't let the radioactive spiders bite..."

zoe, whispering to her new stuffed animal...

"do you know what my real name is? SpiderGirl."

overheard from the playroom...

ozzie: zoe! help me!
zoe: help you what?
ozzie: help me!
zoe: help you what?
ozzie: just help me! it's not a knock-knock joke!