what i have learned in the past 24 hours...

1. when planning to make a 2-layer 9x12 cake, invest in 2 aluminum pans. don't plan to just make one after the other. this takes, um, all day to do.

2. when trying to de-crumb the second layer of your cake before putting it on top, DO NOT shake the pan over the sink. the cake will fall into the sink.

3. cells phones are truly a god-send when trying to reach a husband on the way home from work, to pick up another box of cake mix.

4. betty crocker cake mix is on sale at Stop & Shop for $1/box.

5. when you need to top a cake with a 12x12 chocolate chess board, a 2-layer 9x12 cake doesn't actually physically work out.

6. when you try to tell your 7 year old that he won't have exactly a full chess board on his birthday cake, but will fit all the pieces on half the chess board, this constitutes "ruining his birthday".

7. you cannot try to de-layer a 2 layer cake to make it one big sheet cake.

8. Stop & Shop's bakery opens at 7am on saturday mornings.

9. next year, order a freaking cake from the bakery.

count down to party: T-minus 5 hours. cake TBD.

spoken like a true vegetarian...

we are watching a man working the barbeque at the local apple picking orchard.

ozzie: "that guy just put one of those... meat disks... right on the flame!"
me: "those are hamburgers, ozzie."

so i am driving to go pick up ozzie from school, zoe is in the backseat.

she says, "uh, mommy, what's that fing there?"
i say, "what thing where?"
"that fing next to you."
(my bag? the tupperware? a water bottle? i have no idea what she is looking at)
"i don't know zoe, what are you looking at?"

silence.

silence.

silence.

silence.

"OK, THAT FING IS DEFINATELY ALIVE!!!"

geez, i almost wrecked the car!
long story short, it was some bug on the side mirror of the outside of the car. sheesh.

watching puffy clouds go by...

me: ozzie, what do those clouds look like to you?
ozzie: (points to one) a tornado.
(points to another one) a tornado.
(points to another one) a tornado.
(points to another one) an avalanche.
(points to another one) a tornado.

ozzie-ism #144

"zoe, you can't force me to do something i don't want to do. that's mommy's job."

this is why i get headaches...

ozzie: mommy, are there sometimes two ways to get out of a maze?
me: yes, it depends on the maze.
ozzie: you mean if it's really hard?
me: yeah, i guess so.
ozzie: but what if there are two ways to get out and one is easy and one is hard but they are both kind of hard?

sweet nothings...

zoe: ozzie?
ozzie: what.
zoe: i love you.
ozzie: i love you too, zoe.

enthusiastic

ozzie, as he is falling asleep:
"my favorite thing now is to play the blues on my harmonica. i had no idea i was so good. i'm enthusiastic for the morning, so i can get up and play the blues."

ozzie is going to start living on air

he is having a moral dilemna while eating an ear of corn because
it's dead.
it used to be alive. when it was growing in the ground.
but now it's dead.
he is eating
dead corn.

ozzyism #143

"the hardest part of the day for me is going to sleep."

zoe's bathroom musings...

"all my poopies look like long worms with party hats on."

ozzie's bedtime musings...

"...when my peenie gets hard, it's a symbol that i'm growing up..."

ozzie's first love note

Dear Emily
I wanted to give you a speshul treat!
Love Ozzie
I mite marry you.

happy birthday, zozo

Zoe Caterpillar Etkin

defender of animals
friend to fairies
keeper of 1000 plush toys
cleaner of things that are dirty
princess to all
future unicorn
fierce, silent, and totally KICK-ASS