define air-bug.

2011-09-24T16:46:00.000-07:00

Ozzie: for some reason i can't pronounce amplification, but i can pronounce polyoxybenzylmethylenglcolanhydride.

Non-Sequitur Man

2011-09-24T16:38:00.001-07:00

Mommy, did you that Charlie Chaplin's last movie was in color? Oh, and bananas are slightly radioactive.

good ideas...

2009-07-31T12:28:00.000-07:00

ozzie, in response to my suggestion that they put two chairs together to make a tent:

"that's the best idea we've had in 2 1/2 minutes!"

the f-bomb has hit...

2009-05-21T14:04:00.000-07:00

some kid in ozzie's class taught him the f-word. he asks me, is there really a such thing as a curse? i said what kind, like a spell? he says no, like a word... like fuck? i said, yes, that's a curse word. he says is it a bad word? i said well, yes. he says why is it bad, what would happen if you said it? i said nothing, it is just rude. it's not something you can say at school. he says if you are in high school or college can you say fuck? i said no, not even daddy can say it at work. he says what does fuck mean? i tell him it means like darn it, but really bad. he says if you say fuck in school you would probably go to the principal, huh? i said yes, i would think so... he says boy i wish i could get that word out of my head.

on emily, in her First Communion dress...

2009-05-09T18:57:00.000-07:00

ozzie: "she looked... unbelievable. i'll always remember how beautiful she looked, even for like, 40 years. so when i'm 47, i'll remember how beautiful she looked today when i saw her. but i won't remember what time it was, because i don't even know what time it is now."

sorry to kvell, but...

2009-04-20T14:39:00.000-07:00

ozzie's homework assignment was: write a paragraph about a person that you consider to be a hero.

he wrote:

I think a Rabbi is a hero because they help people follow Judaism. A Rabbi teaches people to be good to they're family and everyone. I want to be a Rabbi because they read from the Torah. The Torah is important because it's rules of Judaism and to be a good person. Rabbis are good teachers.

ozzie's first novel

2009-03-16T13:34:00.000-07:00

Ozzie and the Tornado
By Ozzie Etkin

Table of Contents
Chapter One
Ozzie

Chapter Two
This House is Flying

Chapter Three
Getting Picked Up Again

Chapter Four
Ending Up in Atlanta Zoo

Chapter One
Once there was a boy named Ozzie. One day, he was sitting under an apple tree. Then he noticed two weird things, one was houses exploding as if a bomb had went off inside it. Another was apples kept falling on his head.

Chapter Two
As soon as he saw a funnel cloud, Ozzie yelled, "Ahhh! Tornado!"
By the time he was at his house, he found himself in a windy dust cloud. When he almost got hit by a tree, he ran inside. When he got inside, he found his family looking down the window (mom, dad and Zoe). When Ozzie looked down the window, he found his house was flying!
When Zoe asked, "Why are we flying?", Ozzie answered, "Because of the tornado."

Chapter Three
A couple of minutes later, they landed in Elk City, Oklahoma where they got picked up again. After a couple of minutes, they noticed they were flying again.

Chapter Four
An hour later, they landed in Atlanta Zoo where they saw Mei Lan and Xi Lan.

The End

zoe's caviar wishes and champagne dreams...

2009-03-08T07:35:00.000-07:00

and she's only 5...

"mommy, can someone have 2 birthstones?"
"no, why?"
"because i really like diamonds..."

*pause.*

"and you know that garnet bracelet you have that you never wear? well, if you want, i mean, because you never wear it, you can give it to me, i mean, if you want to..."

bangs head against the wall

2009-03-06T14:01:00.000-08:00

so ozzie brings home a load of stuff from school, various crumpled papers, all shoved into his backpack.

i ask him, "did you clean out your desk today?" he says, "no."

so i'm going through the papers and i see one that is a drawing of a turkey with feathers, only half colored-in. i say, "what's this? home work?" and he says, "no, that's from thanksgiving. i never finished it. i don't have to bring it back."

"why is it in your backpack?"

he says, "i found it when i cleaned out my desk today."

"so you did clean out your desk today?"

he looks off into the distance and says dreamily, "oh, yeah. i guess i did."

the past 48 hours of my life...

2009-02-05T06:28:00.000-08:00

imagine you are cleaning up throw up. LOTS OF THROW UP.

now i'm zoe saying, mommy? should i be a unicorn or a butterfly? mommy? mommy? mommy? should i be a ladybug or a doggie? mommy? do you think pegasuses are beautiful? mommy? mommy? should i be a pegasus? i think i'll be a dolphin. mommy? do you think i should be a dolphin? what color are my fins? mommy? do you like pink better or purple? mommy? mommy? should i be a princess unicorn or just a unicorn? mommy? what should my princess unicorn name be? mommy? mommy? do you like the name sheeshee or queebee better? mommy? mommy?

and then mulitply that by 100.

what i have learned in the past 24 hours...

2008-10-25T06:39:00.000-07:00

1. when planning to make a 2-layer 9x12 cake, invest in 2 aluminum pans. don't plan to just make one after the other. this takes, um, all day to do.

2. when trying to de-crumb the second layer of your cake before putting it on top, DO NOT shake the pan over the sink. the cake will fall into the sink.

3. cells phones are truly a god-send when trying to reach a husband on the way home from work, to pick up another box of cake mix.

4. betty crocker cake mix is on sale at Stop & Shop for $1/box.

5. when you need to top a cake with a 12x12 chocolate chess board, a 2-layer 9x12 cake doesn't actually physically work out.

6. when you try to tell your 7 year old that he won't have exactly a full chess board on his birthday cake, but will fit all the pieces on half the chess board, this constitutes "ruining his birthday".

7. you cannot try to de-layer a 2 layer cake to make it one big sheet cake.

8. Stop & Shop's bakery opens at 7am on saturday mornings.

9. next year, order a freaking cake from the bakery.

count down to party: T-minus 5 hours. cake TBD.

spoken like a true vegetarian...

2008-10-23T17:25:00.000-07:00

we are watching a man working the barbeque at the local apple picking orchard.

ozzie: "that guy just put one of those... meat disks... right on the flame!"
me: "those are hamburgers, ozzie."

2008-09-18T14:04:00.000-07:00

so i am driving to go pick up ozzie from school, zoe is in the backseat.

she says, "uh, mommy, what's that fing there?"
i say, "what thing where?"
"that fing next to you."
(my bag? the tupperware? a water bottle? i have no idea what she is looking at)
"i don't know zoe, what are you looking at?"

silence.

silence.

silence.

silence.

"OK, THAT FING IS DEFINATELY ALIVE!!!"

geez, i almost wrecked the car!
long story short, it was some bug on the side mirror of the outside of the car. sheesh.

watching puffy clouds go by...

2008-08-08T12:21:00.000-07:00

me: ozzie, what do those clouds look like to you?
ozzie: (points to one) a tornado.
(points to another one) a tornado.
(points to another one) a tornado.
(points to another one) an avalanche.
(points to another one) a tornado.

ozzie-ism #144

2008-07-09T08:07:00.001-07:00

"zoe, you can't force me to do something i don't want to do. that's mommy's job."

this is why i get headaches...

2008-07-01T08:52:00.000-07:00

ozzie: mommy, are there sometimes two ways to get out of a maze?
me: yes, it depends on the maze.
ozzie: you mean if it's really hard?
me: yeah, i guess so.
ozzie: but what if there are two ways to get out and one is easy and one is hard but they are both kind of hard?

sweet nothings...

2008-07-01T08:51:00.001-07:00

zoe: ozzie?
ozzie: what.
zoe: i love you.
ozzie: i love you too, zoe.

enthusiastic

2008-06-11T05:39:00.000-07:00

ozzie, as he is falling asleep:
"my favorite thing now is to play the blues on my harmonica. i had no idea i was so good. i'm enthusiastic for the morning, so i can get up and play the blues."

ozzie is going to start living on air

2008-03-26T15:32:00.000-07:00

he is having a moral dilemna while eating an ear of corn because
it's dead.
it used to be alive. when it was growing in the ground.
but now it's dead.
he is eating
dead corn.

ozzyism #143

2008-03-02T18:43:00.000-08:00

"the hardest part of the day for me is going to sleep."

zoe's bathroom musings...

2008-02-18T16:05:00.000-08:00

"all my poopies look like long worms with party hats on."

ozzie's bedtime musings...

2008-02-18T16:04:00.000-08:00

"...when my peenie gets hard, it's a symbol that i'm growing up..."

ozzie's first love note

2008-02-05T17:56:00.000-08:00

Dear Emily
I wanted to give you a speshul treat!
Love Ozzie
I mite marry you.

happy birthday, zozo

2008-01-16T17:55:00.001-08:00

Zoe Caterpillar Etkin

defender of animals
friend to fairies
keeper of 1000 plush toys
cleaner of things that are dirty
princess to all
future unicorn
fierce, silent, and totally KICK-ASS

to be loved by ozzie...

2007-12-25T17:53:00.001-08:00

this is what it is like:

"i think, that when emily looks into my eyes, she sees hearts. because she loves me. and i love her too."

...........

2007-12-17T12:11:00.001-08:00

mom: zoe, you are something else!
zoe: you mean i'm not a zoe anymore?

Special Z

2007-12-17T11:22:00.000-08:00

the last 2 pictures she has drawn at school:

"a crazy person"

and

"a rotted pancake".

that one, she worries me sometimes...

2007-11-17T12:25:00.000-08:00

ozzie: i don't eat turkey on thanksgiving 'cause i'm a vegetarian. is zoe a vegetarian?
zoe: no, i'm a cowgirl.

hmm....

2007-11-12T06:42:00.000-08:00

zoe: mommy, do you like cleaning?
me: yes, actually i do.
zoe: me too!
me: you know what i like best about cleaning? when i can clean with you!
zoe: you know what i like best about cleaning? when i can clean with my alien friend! she's yellow.

when words escape me...

2007-11-01T05:50:00.001-07:00

mom: do you know what a beet is?
ozzie: no.
mom: well, it's a vegetable, and very, very dark red.
ozzie: does it taste like poi?

overheard from the livingroom:

2007-09-04T06:11:00.000-07:00

"zoe, watch out! the volcano's erupting!"

"don't worry! my house is lava-proof!"

"but zoe! is it pyroclastic flow-proof?!?!"

(i'd better check our homeowner's policy on that one...)

oh, so true...

2007-09-04T06:10:00.001-07:00

ozzie's declaration for the day:

"lava might be slow, but it sure is destructive."

(we've all thought that once or twice, no? show of hands?)

who's on first?

2007-08-30T09:50:00.001-07:00

(heard in stage whispers after something gets knocked behind the sofa):

ozzie: "what was that?"
zoe: "it was an accident."
ozzie: "yeah, but what was it?"
zoe: "it was an accident!"
ozzie: "i know! but what WAS it?!?!"
zoe: "it was an ACCIDENT!!!"
ozzie: "i KNOW! but what WAS IT?!?!"
zoe: "AN ACC-I-DENT-TUH!!!"

do you know what a "pornet" is?

2007-08-09T18:31:00.000-07:00

zoe: "...a pornet... doesn't have a stinger, but it does have a little pig nose and very small wings and it flies around. and it eats pig food."

(it sounds like it is related to the Airbug.)

more unbearably cute zoe-ness

2007-07-25T11:47:00.000-07:00

"do you know what my grey kitty cat is named?"

"what?"

"gracie. do you know what my other grey kitty cat is named?"

"what?"

"lulou. and that's a little secret just for you."

ozzie reveals a family secret...

2007-07-03T17:02:00.001-07:00

(whispers to a friend at the playground)

"do you want to know a secret? my dad is really a superhero. his name is BurpMan."

zoe gets a new Barbie...

2007-07-03T16:12:00.000-07:00

(and her name is Glee)

so daddy asks her, "oooh... what's your new barbie's name?"

and zoe answers, "uh... glitt, uh... glimm... oh, whoever."

potty training a 14 year old

2007-06-23T11:57:00.000-07:00

zoe has been potty training herself for the past 4 days, and she is doing great. except she does not want to poop on the potty(ozzie did the exact same thing) so we do a switcheroo real quick, get the pull-ups on and then she poops and then we put undies back on. but i keep asking before - do you want to try to poop on the potty? and she always says no. bear in mind it's only been 4 days.

just now, she says she has to poop. i ask - do you want to poop on the potty? and she SCREAMS at me - "NO!!! ONLY IN A DIAPER! YOU ALWAYS DON'T LISTEN TO ME! YOU ALWAYS DON'T LISTEN TO ME! YOU ALWAYS DON'T LISTEN TO ME!"

warning: profanity

2007-06-15T17:20:00.000-07:00

so the kids are watching this show now called Peep, which is the greatest kids show on TV.

and the episode from yesterday is titled "Under Duck" and zoe was playing around with the words
shunder luck
funder muck
thunder fuck
THUNDER FUCK
THUNDER FUCK!
THUNDER FUCK!!!
THUNDER FUCK!!!
THUNDER FUCK!!!

of course, all our windows are wide open. the neighbors, they love us.

zoe belts out another one:

2007-06-15T17:02:00.000-07:00

so it is 40 minutes past test/dinner/shot time for eli, who is sitting very quietly on the floor in the livingroom.
i say to him, "eli! don't be so quiet! we almost forgot about you, silly kitty cat."

and zoe shouts, "TITTY SHITTY SHAT!"

i swear to god i do not use profanities in front of the children.

future family members

2007-06-05T19:05:00.000-07:00

zoe: "i am not going to have a lot of pets. just hamsters, guinea pigs, chinchillas and rabbits. i'd better write this down tomorrow. on real paper."

zoe wants to change her name to...

2007-06-04T18:50:00.000-07:00

Zoe Caterpillar Etkin

overheard from the livingroom:

2007-05-25T14:44:00.000-07:00

"i never get hit by flying cows. i am a very careful chipmonk."

zoe is a real New Yorker

2007-05-01T17:52:00.000-07:00

me: zoe, what do you like to see at the zoo?
zoe: butterflies.
me: do you like to see the lions or tigers?
zoe: no.
me: do you like to see the prairie dogs?
zoe: mmm hmm.
me: peacocks?
zoe: mmm hmm.
me: ducks?
zoe: mmm hmm.
me: alligators?
zoe: eh, not so much.

ozzie's homework

2007-05-01T17:50:00.000-07:00

make a list of things you see that tell you it is spring:

flawrs
leevus
pollen

zoe's future plans...

2007-04-15T13:05:00.000-07:00

"do you know what i want to be when i grow up? a unicorn."

pure oxygen...

2007-03-28T08:06:00.000-07:00

ozzie: i love you so much i feel like i am going to explode!

ozzie's sweet whisperings...

2007-03-09T17:40:00.000-08:00

"good night, sleep tight, don't let the radioactive spiders bite..."

zoe, whispering to her new stuffed animal...

2007-02-22T14:35:00.000-08:00

"do you know what my real name is? SpiderGirl."

overheard from the playroom...

2007-02-20T14:01:00.000-08:00

ozzie: zoe! help me!
zoe: help you what?
ozzie: help me!
zoe: help you what?
ozzie: just help me! it's not a knock-knock joke!

zoe's world

2006-12-21T18:47:00.000-08:00

i just took a head count and zoe has over 50 stuffed toys in her room alone.
25 of them are on her bed.
there are another 30-odd in the playroom downstairs.
to her credit, she loves them each and all, wholly. she keeps a rotation list in her head as to who gets the coveted position of sleeping in her arms every night. and it's always a different one from whoever got picked to go in the car with her during the day. i have never seen her play favorites.

(which of course brings me to Humpty-Guy. a sad, cute little humpty-dumpty doll that was the object of ozzie's obsession from age 18-24 months. then he was disgarded upon the discovery of Woody. from Toy Story. it doesn't sound good when you have a 2 year old boy playing with his woody in the playground. "woody! wooooodddyyyyy! where's my woody?!? oh! there you are! WOOOOOODDDDDYYYYY!!!"

anyway, i can't even look Humpty-Guy in the eyes, but i do keep him away from the toybox, so as not to have him fall to the bowels and never to be seen again. i keep him prominent in the "bins", but just an arm or leg sticking out so as not to seem too desperate PLAY WITH MEEEEE but also so he is not forgotten. and i have seen Toy Story 500 times too many.)

zoe sees noah (the cat) cleaning himself...

2006-12-07T14:45:00.000-08:00

zoe: mommy, what's dat pointy fing?
me: that's his peenie.
zoe: but why is it sticking out?
me: i don't know.
zoe: but why is he licking it?
me: he's just cleaning himself. that's how cats take baths.
zoe: but where's eli's peenie?
me: i don't know. it's not sticking out, is it?
zoe: no... maybe it's under all his fur.
me: yes, maybe. finish your hotdog.

zoe waits for Nana to come out of the bathroom...

2006-12-02T18:12:00.000-08:00

"good job, nana! you did it!"

ozzie gets a new book...

2006-12-02T14:42:00.001-08:00

ozzie: it's called Walter the Farting Dog.
mom: you know who else's name is Walter? Papa!
ozzie: well then it would be called Walter the Farting Human.

late-night ozzyism

2006-11-25T19:11:00.000-08:00

while carrying him up to his bedroom, after falling asleep in the car...

"daddy? if we wanted a fire in the fireplace, and you put newspapers in the bottom, all around, and then put a log on top of the newspaper, and then we found out we didn't have any matches... i could start the fire with my heat vision."

ozzy's future...

2006-11-12T08:02:00.000-08:00

"when i grow up, i want to be a limo driver."

zoe, after throwing a Tootsie Roll wrapper on the floor...

2006-10-17T14:02:00.000-07:00

"uh, ozzy, guess what. i just littered."

ozzy, about a recent bad dream...

2006-10-09T15:29:00.000-07:00

"i don't want to tell daddy about it. i think it will be too scary for him."

and now, a few words from zoe...

2006-10-03T06:21:00.000-07:00

me: zoe, do you want to take a walk later to see the turtle, ducks and geese?
zoe: i don't like the geeses!
you don't? why not?
because the big ones talk to me TOO LOUD!

ozzy wakes me up at 3am...

2006-10-03T06:19:00.000-07:00

mom, i just pulled something out of my tushy.
WHAT?!?
oh, it was just a fart.

playing in the sandbox, making a sand cake...

2006-10-02T13:48:00.001-07:00

"now we need a bash of baking powder. what a minute! that's not a bash! that's a smidge!"

voicemail left for daddy:

2006-10-02T06:56:00.000-07:00

Daddy! I'm home NAKED!
TOTALLY NAKED!
No pants!
No shirt!
No SOCKS!
I'M NAKED!!!!!
(pause)
Kay. BYE!

Ozzy-isms.

2006-09-29T19:00:00.000-07:00

the first words out of ozzy's mouth upon waking up in the morning:
ugh! why are all the ceilings so low?!?

but what will i do without you?

those berries are for little birds to eat!

....................................................................................

he started asking me detailed questions about how a baby is made. specifically, what the "seed" and what the egg looks like.
ozzy: can we see pictures of them on the computer?
me: uh i am not sure.
can you look to see if there are videos?
no ozzy, there are NO videos of them on the computer (just what i need, right?)
please???? can you just look???
no, NO videos on the computer! oh! (remembering i have that book "where did i come from") but i do have a book for you to see.

is it a pop-up book?
.....................................................................................

what did the T-Rex say to the Pterodactyl?
"ROARRRRRRRR!"
.....................................................................................

"i don't want to be 5 years old. i am only used to being 4 years old."
.....................................................................................

"i want to play after i eat. that's the dessert."
.....................................................................................

"mommy, i love these meringue cookies. i love them. i will love them forever and ever. even when i die."
.....................................................................................

we were at the supermarket and he saw a tank full of lobsters. he asked why are they there? i told him because some people buy them to eat them. he said "people don't eat lobsters! they're animals!"
.....................................................................................

daddy: ozzy, i am so proud of you. how do you feel?
ozzy: i feel proud of myself. i feel like a 10 year old.
......................................................................................

ozzy's watching one of his shows- "between the lions", its kinda like The Electric Company for those who remember it. anyway, they spell out the word PARROT and show a picture of a parrot.
he turns to me and says, "i fink that was a scarlet macaw."
.......................................................................................

ozzy: why don't you wear driving clothes when you drive?
me: there are no special driving clothes.
ozzy: when i ride my bike, i wear bike clothes.
me: right, but when you drive, you can wear any kind of clothes you want.
(pause)
ozzy: can you wear a bathing suit?
.........................................................................................

"at the grown up store, they have BIG guitars just the right size for you and daddy. and at the baby store, they have little teeny tiny guitars just for zoe. and at the three and a half store, they have a guitar just for me!"
.........................................................................................

me: ozzy, which do you like better: dogs or cats?

ozzy: ummm, dogs.

me: oh. so, do you want to get a dog?

ozzy: noooooo, mommy. only cats!
.........................................................................................

ozzy: what does the narrator at the planetarium talk about?
me: he talks about the stars and planets and stuff.
ozzy: does he talk about the moon?
me: yes.
ozzy: does he talk about the stars?
me: yes.
ozzy: earth?
me: yes.
ozzy: the moon?
me: yes.
ozzy: hoola hoops?
me: uh, no.
ozzy: potatoes?
me: no.
ozzy: oranges?
me: good night, ozzy.
...........................................................................................

daddy: ozzy, i wish i had your energy.
ozzy: well i wish i had YOUR energy, but i only have MY energy.
...........................................................................................

about luna moths: "the Luna Moths come out at night (took me a few tries to figure out what he was talking about because "luna moth" was sounding a lot like "moonah lofts" or "moving loths") and they fly around and they have one mouth on their body and they whisper VERY quietly like this..... 'pssst pssst pssst' and they float up to the clouds and walk around and then they fly up to the moon which is VERY far away so I can barely see them and that is where they see their mommy and daddy moonah lofts and their baby sisters who sleep in a little tiny crib and ALSO FIREFLIES come out at night but if they do not blink you CANNOT see them..."
..............................................................................................

what's inside air?
what makes the wind stop?
what does "dammit" mean?
what color are farts?
...............................................................................................

"you know, an air bug, is shaped like thunder and lightning, and when it camouflages, it goes into a different shape. and there's one on your back."
...............................................................................................

whats inside mirrors?
whats inside picture frames?
whats inside toilet paper?
whats inside wood?
whats inside paint?
whats inside red paint?
whats inside white paint?
whats inside pink paint?
whats inside brown paint?
whats inside air?
whats inside purple bubbles?
...........................................................................................

me: ozzy, do you want a snack? we have jello.
ozzy: yes.
ok, which color jello do you want? we have blue and we have purple.
blue and... yellow.
we don't have yellow. we have blue and we have purple. which do you want?
i want blue and... orange.
we don't have orange. we have blue and purple.
blue and yellow.
ozzy. we only have blue and purple jello. which do you want?
i want 2 blue and 2 purple.
ok, i don't know what that means.
can i blow in your mouth?
....................................................................................

Q: what color is bear pee-pee?
A: blue.
(me: why is it blue?)
A: because, they have to poop and pee-pee in the woods and it all mixes together and makes blue, silly!
...................................................................................

who lives on saturn?
...................................................................................

"the food goes in my mouth, down my esophagus, into my tummy, then to my large intestine and then out my tushy hole."
...................................................................................

"in the morning, my farts have pictures of the sun on them."
....................................................................................

adam was in the bathroom with ozzy and ozzy said, "oh look, a plumber."
adam said, "no, thats a plunger."
so ozzy said, "oh. a plumber uses a plunger. when there are plums in the potty."
....................................................................................

"tornadoes make a mess!"
....................................................................................

to daddy: "i am tired of mommy."
....................................................................................

what shape is a sting ray?
....................................................................................

"mom, listen, i'm gonna fart."
{insert fart sound here}
"FART-A-ROONI!!!"
....................................................................................

"i'm emptied out of Please's and Thank You's."
....................................................................................

and, as i am in the bathroom, i hear ozzy sneeze a juicy one. so i finish up quick and run out to the livingroom to get him a tissue. he looks at me with horror on his face and says, "did you forget to wash your hands?!?!"

.....................................................................................

and from little baby sister zoe...

(this is what you get with a bag of lollipops, a very patient mommy and an 18 month old girl with limited words.)

"ello" means yellow. or purple.

"een" means pink. or green.

or maybe red.

no, "ello". she wants a "ello" lollipop.

no, not purple-ello. yellow-ello.

no, not that color. "een". no, not pink. green.

no, not green. pink. definitely pink. no wait, red.

no, no. "ello". no, "een".

"oo".

do we have any "oo" lollipops?

no. not blue. not THAT blue anyway.

no, she wants "een" again. green-een. no, wait, pink-een.

no, purple. definitely purple. yes purple.

no, she wants marshmallows. ello marshmallows.

oh wait. ozzy's having ritz crackers. ritz crackers it is!

define air-bug.

Non-Sequitur Man

good ideas...

the f-bomb has hit...

on emily, in her First Communion dress...

sorry to kvell, but...

ozzie's first novel

zoe's caviar wishes and champagne dreams...

*bangs head against the wall*

the past 48 hours of my life...

what i have learned in the past 24 hours...

spoken like a true vegetarian...

watching puffy clouds go by...

ozzie-ism #144

this is why i get headaches...

sweet nothings...

enthusiastic

ozzie is going to start living on air

ozzyism #143

zoe's bathroom musings...

ozzie's bedtime musings...

ozzie's first love note

happy birthday, zozo

to be loved by ozzie...

...........

Special Z

hmm....

when words escape me...

overheard from the livingroom:

oh, so true...

who's on first?

do you know what a "pornet" is?

more unbearably cute zoe-ness

ozzie reveals a family secret...

zoe gets a new Barbie...

potty training a 14 year old

warning: profanity

zoe belts out another one:

future family members

zoe wants to change her name to...

overheard from the livingroom:

zoe is a real New Yorker

ozzie's homework

zoe's future plans...

pure oxygen...

ozzie's sweet whisperings...

zoe, whispering to her new stuffed animal...

overheard from the playroom...

zoe's world

zoe sees noah (the cat) cleaning himself...

zoe waits for Nana to come out of the bathroom...

ozzie gets a new book...

late-night ozzyism

ozzy's future...

zoe, after throwing a Tootsie Roll wrapper on the floor...

ozzy, about a recent bad dream...

and now, a few words from zoe...

ozzy wakes me up at 3am...

playing in the sandbox, making a sand cake...

voicemail left for daddy:

Ozzy-isms.

bangs head against the wall